Authorities have positively identified the remains found in a scuzzy rented property as that of missing online loon, Mr Cute, Sgt. Yucky Boy has announced at an afternoon news conference.

Sgt. Yucky Boy said an autopsy performed on Mr Cute gave investigators the evidence that helped identify him. Sgt. Yucky Boy said the body found Tuesday had exploded so violently that authorities were unable to identify antthing. Mr Cute's body was identified through dental records, he said.

Sgt. Yucky Boy said the case has now changed from a missing-persons case to a yawn yawn, forget this, who cares case.

The autopsy revealed that Mr Cute had locked himself in his house for 20 years doing nothing other than eating cakes because they were so yummy. It is estimated that he ate 20 tons of yummy cake a day and 200 gallons of lemonade. Doctors believe that this was beyond unhealthy and can only only be classified as substance abuse, stating that Mr Cute must have been on a sugar high similar to that of a cocaine or herion addict.

Mr Cute was an internet sensation with NO FRIENDS WHATSOEVER which he had carefully been building up over 10 years on MySpace. Despite being constantly deleted by the MySpace fascists resulting in him loosing all his yummy pals and photos and everything again and again and again nothing stopped Mr Cute in his relentless pursuit of NO FRIENDS AT ALL EVER.

Already thousands of Cute Girls from around the world have posted comments on what a nice guy Mr Cute was and that if they new he was going to die they might accepted one his many freinds requests that he sent to EVERY CUTE GIRL IN THE WORLD 7 TIMES. Thinking that he was so popular they didnt bother.

Jezebel from Arizona posted saying, "eeeeewwwww, that creepy Mr Cute kept sending me friends request and when i became his pal he kept posting the words YUMMY under all my photos... what a nerd!!! but now hes dead I think he was awesome.

MySpace officials said that even though MySpace was a place for Friends, he thought it was clear that that did not include Mr Cute who wasnt allowed friends, by order of GOD. they said they deleting his profile every time he got to 200 pals was a pain but its a shame hes dead as now he'll never have any friends ever at all for certain.

Upon entering Mr Cutes rented house where he lived alone with no friends at all they discovered an underground labarynth of tunnels and passages in which he had stored every single cake wrapper and box that he had ever consumed, all carefully anotated with the date of purchase, date of consumption and expert comment on taste and flavour etc. Mr Plod from the local council said that it was really inconsiderate of Mr Cute to leave behind such a legacy as now they would have to cart it all off the the dump pat tax payers expense.

Mr Cutes funeral was due to be held on the following week but unfortunatly because his body matter was so supersaturated with sugar and yummy stuff his remains were eaten by stray cute girls that live in the shrubberies around the corner.